Speechless

As I'm sitting right now waiting for the call the surgery is over, I am speechless.

I woke up this morning with the brief thought "maybe this was just a really bad dream". But it is not. It is our reality - a part of Jenson's journey. I laid in bed not wanting to move or face the day, but forced myself to get up and put a smile on my face and suppress all my emotions so I can be strong for Jenson and Sydney.

Jenson needs calm and peace not frustration and tears. So I internalize the nerves and let them churn in my stomach all morning.

There aren't words to describe the agony and pain of watching your child (who you are supposed to help protect) go through so much and knowing there is so much more they have to endure for a chance at healing.

I never really understood the verse Romans 8:26 "If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans."

Now I get it. There are things in life that can leave you utterly speechless.

In the meantime, we sit waiting for the call from surgery that Jenson is ok.

Kristin