Awful Surprise

Where to start...

You know when you have that horrible feeling something is wrong? I just couldn't shake it today.

When I arrive at the hospital this morning, Jenson has a high heart rate, fever, and the shakes. I snuggle next to him and try to help settle him down. His physical therapist Erin rolls him into fetal position because that helps break stiffness. We are able to get him settled again several meds later.

Around 4:30pm, I notice him getting hotter and his heart rate climbing again. He gets really stiff and then starts shaking uncontrollably. His pupils dilate to the point where his eyes look black with a tiny blue outside rim. His left eyeball starts floating to the left. I say to our nurse Jen, "Something is horribly wrong."

I turn him on his side towards me to try to curl him into fetal position while tears filled with fear are falling down my face. He startings screaming out, sweating, and his face turns so red I literally think his brain may explode off his head.

Next thing I know we are surrounded by people trying to save him. Out comes the oxygen and in go three different types of drugs to treat a variety of things.

I am trying my best to comfort him...telling him he is loved, he is special, and if it is time to go home to Jesus that is ok.

The social worker calls Doug for me to let him know he needs to come down.

They rush us upstairs to the ICU and then down to CT scan to see if he has another massive brain stroke (yes, they are calling the brain bleed and lack of oxygens "stokes" which is my new least favorite word).

We get to the CT Scan. I stand outfitted in the lead apron and my black socks (shoes are upstairs somewhere) holding his hands. I tell him this won't hurt him as we lay him in a tube and place a seatbelt over his head. Amazingly, he listens and lays still.

I am thinking another massive stroke this time on the left side given his right arm is so stiff and his floating left eye.

The results of the CT scan come back - no new bleed. The right side bleed is slightly improved. They suspect what I thought was our latest brush with death is a seizure.

A seizure...if that was a seizure, seizures suck because it looks like your child is possessed and never coming back to you.

He will likely get a MRI tomorrow to see what everything looks like in the brain and make sure he doesn't have a heart issue causing blockages.

He is resting peacefully now.

Maxed out doesn't begin to descibe how we are feeling. Is a calm ever coming?

Kristin