Expectation Adjustment

Even though Jenson is home, I have found myself feeling worried and anxious over the last few days. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out why. Then it came to me...

My expectation of Jenson being out of the hospital means he is well. While he is home, he is not well. He is still on the road to recovery.

This expectation came naturally... he used to get home and be walking and laughing and chasing Sydney around. The walking and chasing Sydney around aren't happening this time. If Jenson were older, he would be in a wheelchair.

Histio ate away at his bones for years, so it shouldn't be a big surprise it will take a while for all his tumors to go away and new bone to re-generate. But it is coming as a surprise to me how long his recovery is taking. It is making me afraid histio may never go away.

I need to adjust my expectations. Today I am letting go of my old expectation that he would be walking at this stage. It is time to start celebrating any step towards healing like a reduction in the number of feeds through the tube, Jenson going longer between needed blood transfusions, and him wanting to play with toys again.

I feel better already. Expectations can be a killer.

Kristin

Psalm 56:3
"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you."