Chemo Monday strikes Sunday night

While today is chemo Monday, the emotions swirling around it hit last night this time around.

We were coming off a fun family Sunday... we went to the park and went on the swings, played soccer with Syd (with Jenson trying to grab the ball), listened to some fun music and watched Jenson dancing happily in his seat. It's great to see him so happy and joyful in those moments and it can make you forget about his disease... then you're reminded when you realize the next day is chemo Monday. And that's what happened last night.

Sydney came over and said "Mommy, why are you sad?" and I explained tomorrow is Jenson's chemo day and mommy wishes he wasn't sick and didn't need to be on chemo anymore. Then she said "Do you need a huggie (aka hug)?". That made me start crying. So she crawled up next to me, gave me a hug, and said "It's ok mommy. It's ok. Just remember it's not your fault. It will be ok." Who would have thought God would use my soon to be 4 year old to give me the words I needed to hear.

Today's appointment went just ok. As Jenson is getting older, he is more aware of what's going on and is deciding he has an opinion on it... from the pre-doctor visit stuff (like the numbing cream on his port which he wanted to pull off today and the anti-nausea medicine which is so concentrated it always makes him gag) to the actual visit itself (from the accessing his port, the blood draws, the blood pressure machine which always takes a few times before we get the reading, the weight/height check, the doctors thorough exam, and then the actual chemo) to the post visit medicines (which are notoriously bitter), he's now more aware there are parts of it that he is ok with and others that he's deciding he's not a big fan of. And who can blame him.

This is our last scheduled round of chemo until we know more after the upper endoscopy on May 10. We want to hope for a miracle of healing, although Jenson has continued to have some minor skin flare-ups so we're suspecting he's better than when we started the chemo but likely his immune system hasn't re-set itself yet.

Please pray for healing for him, for safety for him as he has to be put under for his scope on May 10, and for wisdom for us and the doctors on the right path forward.

Kristin