Heartbroken

We were right… we didn’t want the test results.

Jenson’s liver and spleen are enlarged and his liver tests are abnormal. The disease is attacking both those organs now too.

His lesions/tumors in his head are worse. He has new tumors on his back and throughout his body. He has skin outbreaks in multiple spots.

His little body is losing the battle.

The bone marrow results won’t come back until Monday. This test determines how quickly they start the new chemo. If the disease is attacking his bone marrow, they start the chemo ASAP. If it is not, they need to wait for his bone marrow counts to recover before giving more chemo or the bone marrow may never recover.

The doctor told me, “Don’t give up hope."

If I were to focus on what I can see with my physical eyes I would have no hope. Thankfully I have spiritual eyes too even though they are glassed over with tears.

For now, we are cherishing every moment we have with him – feeding him cherry yogurt tubes, snuggling with him in bed, watching Cars 2 and laughing at the “funny parts”, playing hide and seek (Jenson closes his eyes to hide and you find him --- adorable!), and caring for him.

My mom was caring for me earlier today - crying with me, hugging me, comforting me. Just like I want to take away Jenson’s pain, she wants to take away my pain. A mom always wants to take away her child’s pain.

Please God, take away our child's pain.