Fatigue setting in

It’s official, the adrenaline that pushed us through the crazy ride of the past few months has been replaced by fatigue. It’s a deep kind of tiredness… one where you're physically tired with your body being achy (not achy like sickness, but rather fatigue) but also you're emotionally tired.

For me it hit this past week on my business trip. It manifested itself in exhaustion and far less patience than normal.

For Doug it hit Sunday and more in anticipation of Jenson’s chemo appointment today and knowing he has to go “back to the hospital”. Even though this appointment isn’t an admission, our doctor’s clinic is attached to the hospital and it’s the first “scheduled outpatient appointment” since the ordeal of the past few months. We typically go together, but I have a business trip I couldn’t rearrange this time so Doug is going solo.

For both of us, it’s also knowing we have the PET scan appointment on Thursday with more anesthesia required and more news. It could be good news, it could be bad news, but either way there will be news.

Jenson is definitely feeling better than a month ago despite the leg pain that continues to come and go. While chemo is intense stuff, it does work wonders for him and makes his life much more “normal”. He feels better on chemo than off of chemo. It allows him to live the life he’s been given.

How does he find the joy in so much in life given everything he goes through??? It’s something I marvel at regularly. The joy of “rice with pepper and salt”… you’d think each time he eats it it’s the first time he’s discovered it. The joy of “bubbles” flying through the air as he tries to catch them. The joy of hugs and kisses and tickles. The joy of seeing his grandparents. The joy of playing hide and seek around the house with our family (this is adorable because he and Sydney hide together and while he’s hiding he "hides his face in his hands" and can’t keep himself from giggling).

Joy can be found in fatigue too. God is continuing to teach lifelong lessons.

Kristin