The verdict is in...

Yesterday was Jenson's big chemo appointment... the one we've been waiting for so we'd have some clarity on his path forward. We have been doing some serious praying for wisdom.

Before we left for the appointment, Jenson stopped walking. He kept saying "Hot" and pointing to his right foot ("Hot" is his term for anything uncomfortable -- ie too cold = "hot", hot soup = "hot", hurting foot = "hot"). He would decide he wanted down again, take one step, and start crying and say "hot". This was a reminder of how crazy this disease can be... one day it's not there and the next day things can change dramatically. We were already on our way to the oncologist, so it was something else to add to the list of questions.

When we got there, Jenson still wouldn't walk. He'd take a step and sit down and say "hot". The doctor said, "that's odd given we just did the x-rays and there was nothing showing on the foot". He then examined his foot and noticed swelling on one side. He then said, "See this tiny little mark. It looks like he got bitten by something". We then noticed this incredibily tiny looking bite mark in the midst of the swelling.

What a relief! We started laughing and Doug and I both said out loud, "Oh, it's just a spider bite." Yes, our son's swollen foot that he can't walk on we are laughing about and totally relieved about. God sometimes gives you perspective in the strangest ways. At least recovery from a bite should be pretty speedy.

Now for the bad news. They do believe he has a small lesion on his skull which means the disease has started attacking part of his bones. I asked if there could be any connection between the huge skin outbreak he had on his head and the fact that his skull now has an abnormality and the doctor said "seems like too big of a coincidence to me". Jenson also has been waking up with his eyes a little swollen in the mornings the last few weeks. We're not sure if that is connected, but again very unusual.

So our prayer for wisdom has been answered, but it's not the answer I was hoping for. We need to add another drug, 6-MP, to his chemo treatment. It's an oral drug that we'll start administering tomorrow at home. Our counter looks like a pharmacy already, so just another one to add to the mix.

Jenson will likely lose his hair with the addition of this medicine. I was telling Sydney last night so she won't be surprised if it happens. She said "But mommy, I don't want him to lose his hair because he won't look like Jenson without his hair." I said "Syd, he'll still be the same person with the same beautiful smile. We'll get used to him with no hair and it will eventually grow back." She said "Yeah, it will grow back." I have to keep telling myself that too. It will grow back.

We go to UCSF in the city to see his oncologist, so we have to cross the bay bridge on the way there and back. I've noticed I always cry on the way home as we cross the bridge. Yesterday was no exception as the tears rolled down my face. We had a song by Hillsong on (I've added it to my playlist) and Jenson was back there singing the last word of most of the lyrics (good ... see ... hope). One of the lines is "You are peace, you are peace, when my fear is crippling. You are joy, you are joy, you're the reason that I sing." Once again, God is using my little boy to teach me about life. How to let the pain and worry go and appreciate the incredible blessings he's given us.

Jenson is a blessing to us in so many ways.

We're hoping and praying God will use this additional drug to heal his body once and for all and rid him of this disease. Please Lord, heal our little boy.

Kristin