It Nice Be Home

This year Christmas will be at home instead of in the hospital.  As Jenson would say, "It nice be home". 

It will be nice to be at home with a lighted Christmas tree in the living room, gifts under the tree, holiday treats, a warm fireplace, and hot apple cider with homemade whipped cream. It will be nice to be with family.  I have a newfound appreciation for time with loved ones.  It is about making memories and embracing every moment - singing Christmas carols together at the Christmas Eve service, Sydney dressing up in her green holiday dress and spinning around the living room, the brutal honesty of kids when they open a gift they don't like, the special unexpected moments that create the family stories for years to come (like Poopgate for us --- a hilarious blog entry for another time).  You never know how much time you have left and each moment is a memory.

I am also bracing for the waves that are going to come rolling in. I'm bracing like you do when you see a car in your rear view mirror that is going to hit you --- you know it's coming, you know it's going to hurt, you know there will be damage, but you can't stop it and have no idea how big the impact will be.


This dichotomy of one second feeling happy and the next moment feeling sad is a part of life now.  It will always be a part of life here on earth. 

I continue to cling to the promise of eternity in heaven and the day I get to see Jenson again.  And this year (more than ever) I am so thankful for the birth of a baby boy that makes that promise possible.