Grandpa's Memories

Remembering my sweet boy as I read the eulogy his Grandpa Jo wrote:


Jenson knew without a doubt that he was loved unconditionally.  Mommy and Daddy decided early on that they would express their love to him and demonstrate how much they loved him each day.  He was told several times every day how special he was and received lots and lots of hugs, kisses, and affection.  He also knew how much Sydney, his Grandma and Grandpa Jo (Sydney and Jenson call me Grandpa Jo—as in JoAnn), Grandma and Grandpa Ferris, Uncle Brent, Uncle Blake, Aunt Bernie, and cousin Jaden loved him.

Jenson had a great sense of humor.  At about 14 months in age, he recognized the humor in the life of Shawn the Sheep—a TV show for kids—about this young sheep who is the very smart ring-leader of a flock of sheep who live on a farm with a near-sighted farmer, the farmer’s dog who is the foreman, and mischievous pigs.  Not a word is spoken by any of the characters, but their grunts and groans, the animation, music, and sound effects make it very funny.  The humor is very subtle, and yet Jenson understood it as evidenced by his belly laughs.  Not sure from whom he inherited belly laughs J (Grandma Jo perhaps?), but he began doing it during Shawn the Sheep episodes, and he continued to laugh deeply and often most days even though he was on chemotherapy, continuously, since he was less than nine months of age.  After he could talk, he enjoyed kidding Mommy, Daddy, Sydney, and others and there are numerous examples of this.  Grandpa Ferris related a story to Jenson’s family about a time during Jenson’s recent stay in the hospital where he said, “I no like Mommy, I no like Daddy, I no like Grandpa Ferris, I no like Grandma Ferris, I no like Grandma Jo, I no like Grandpa Jo…….I like Sydney.”  Grandpa Ferris didn’t believe him and said, “Jenson, are you teasing us?”  Jenson then began to belly laugh so hard he was bouncing up and down on the hospital bed, and said, “Yes, I teasing you!”    Jenson was very funny!

Jenson found excitement and joy in common, everyday events:

A trip to the kitchen pantry was an exciting adventure for Jenson.  Each time when he came to visit, he asked Grandma or Grandpa to open the pantry door and step inside with him.  His eyes lit up and a smile radiated across his face as he looked at the M&M’s, peanut M&M’s, his beloved goldfish crackers, snicker bars, baby foods, cereals (his favorites were Cheerios, Rice Chex, and Grapenuts), rice, and Market Street “chippies” (the spicy tortilla chips found only at Market Street).  I’ve decided most of these items were like a friend to him, because he would never indulge himself with the sweets or snack foods.   He carried a small number of M&M’s in a zip-lock bag for days and ate only two of three a day.  And NEVER would he eat the green or yellow M&M’s!    He carefully sorted those out of his zip-lock bag and gave them to Grandpa to eat.  At first I thought he may have had the belief there were peanuts in them, so I would bite into one and show him there was no peanut.  He always looked and then would smile, look in my eyes, and tell me the greens and yellows were “no good”. 

Jenson loved yogurt…..provided it was YoBaby and YoKids Squeezers-- which he called “tubes”.  He sat at the table eating his rice flavored with a little salt and a lot of pepper and had a constant smile on his face as you interacted with him to get just the right amount of salt and pepper, ground freshly onto the rice.  He ate until he was full and then gave you a sheepish smile with eyes that were bright and lively as he asked whether he could have some yogurt.  Typically, we would say, “After you eat another vegetable or a few more bites of rice”.  At this, many two year olds would throw a tantrum, but Jenson would usually comply and then give you the sheepish smile again as he requested yogurt.  Once you gave him permission, he wouldn’t let you get it for him rather he had to go with you to the refrigerator.  Upon opening it, once again his eyes would get really big, and he would laugh in joy and amazement at the yogurt goodies in front of him!  When we returned to the table, the YoBaby yogurt had to be thoroughly stirred.  He spooned it into his mouth with an amazingly deft flick of his left wrist.  He couldn’t quite handle the “tubes” himself, so Grandma and Grandpa had the pleasure of squeezing the delicious contents of the “tubes” into his mouth.

He loved to go to Target, Costco, Walmart, McDonald’s, Whataburger, and he knew the logos for all of his favorite places and would call them out when he saw them.  “There Walmart! There Target!”

A trip to Market Street was an adventure for Jenson!  Nearly every time he visited us, he wanted to go to Market Street.  Since Jenson’s immune system was compromised by the chemotherapy treatments, Doug and Kristin ensured there was a container of Clorox wipes in every vehicle.  It was necessary to thoroughly wipe every inch of a shopping cart that Jenson might touch, so it took a while, and Jenson patiently waited until he could be lifted into the cart.  If Mommy was along, Jenson insisted she push  the cart as he directed us around the store and told us which of the aisles had the Goldfish crackers, cereal, M&M’s (peanut M&M’s for Grandma and plain M&M’s for Jenson).  He smiled and laughed and was elated by something as common as shopping for groceries!

He loved to play the game of “Chase” with his family.  He also loved playing hide-and-seek, and a favorite memory is seeing Jenson’s bare feet peeking out beneath the curtains in his home as he stayed absolutely motionless and quiet as the person who was “it” tried to find him! 

Jenson was loving and compassionate:

Jenson loved the movie “Cars” and knew all of the characters.  His favorite characters were not the stars of the movie…….. He loved Sally the Porsche- -an attorney who returned to her hometown - - and Red -the fire engine with a soft heart.  Both of them are strong, loving and compassionate which I believe are the reasons Jenson was attracted to them.  Jenson, too, was strong, loving, and compassionate to everyone in his life.  He wanted to protect his Mommy when she was hurting.  He wanted to please both his Mommy and his Daddy.  He loved his sister, Sydney, and even when the effects of chemotherapy or other procedures made him weak, he always became bright-eyed and alert when Sydney entered the room.  She would dance or sing or otherwise cut up, and Jenson would laugh.  With bright eyes and a smile, he would turn to others in the room and say, “Sydney funny.  She silly!”   When Jenson was not physically weak, he would kid Sydney out of a mood by trying to make her laugh.   Jenson stood up for his rights.  He would not be pushed around and in a commanding voice told those who tried, “No! Don’t do that. I no like that!”

Mommy told about a time after a doctor had relayed bad news to her, and she was driving Jenson home.  She began to tear up, and from the back seat Jenson spoke up in a commanding voice and said, “What that Doctor say to you!? I no like her.”  He was ready to defend his Mommy against anyone who would try to hurt her.  Mommy explained to Jenson that the Doctor didn’t try to hurt her.  What the Doctor said made her sad. 

  

While hospitalized and still recovering from the horrible side effects of the chemotherapy used to destroy his bone marrow, Mommy told Jenson about a little boy in another city who was going to have to undergo a second bone marrow transplant.  His response was, “I need send him a monkey.”  You see, Jenson loved stuffed monkeys!  They made him feel better when he was hurting!  I think it is a rare for a three year old to recognize another person who is hurting and to reach out to console him.   His example inspired MonkeyGrins, and you see examples here in this room of his legacy.  Jenson taught me to continually look for ways to show compassion to those around me who are hurting.     

Jenson was mentally strong and courageous:

Unless he was frightened by one of the machines in the hospital, Jenson did not complain.  He did not complain about the numerous blood transfusions, platelet transfusions, chemotherapy treatments, prednisone side effects, blood pressure readings, wearing the oxygen monitor, or being wired to the pole beside his bed.  I never saw him throw a tantrum about having to take medication.   He had unbelievable patience with those who were helping to treat his disease.  

Jenson loved his nurse friends:

With the exception of several days, Jenson was hospitalized since mid-November of 2011.  He was in the hospital during Thanksgiving and Christmas, and his nurses became his best friends.  Not only did they provide outstanding care, they also were unbelievably kind and cheerful to Jenson, and they made him feel very special.  He had a gift of discernment.  It seemed as though he could see their heart and soul, and he could quickly decide that he loved them.  But, knowing he loved them wasn’t enough.  He told them many times, “I love you.”  They visited him during his 20 plus days in ICU and did a lot to lift his spirits, which helped him keep fighting to recover. 

Jenson was God’s gift to us.  He was cute and adorable!  He was loved and loved others, he had complete trust in Mommy and Daddy and wanted to please them, he was very smart and eager to learn new things, he was compassionate, he was tough and resilient, he liked to dance and have fun with Mommy, Daddy, and Sydney, and he had an amazing ability to recognize and enjoy the positive and humorous things in life.

Mommy told Jenson he taught her a lot and emphasized that he understood the most important things in life—the things many people search for their entire adult life:

·         To know Jesus:    Jenson insisted one day that he knew Jesus and was very adamant about this!

·         To be loved:  Jenson knew he was deeply loved

·         To know how to love:   Jenson openly expressed his love to others

Finally, I have two memories of Jenson that are encouraging to me.  After visiting us for a day, it would be time for him to go home.  Mommy or Daddy would call to say they were on the way to pick him up.  Jenson would ask us to take him outside to wait for them, and one day, we sat him on a small bench in front of our house.  When their car came into sight, Jenson smiled broadly and waved his unique wave.  (Arm to the side, palm facing forward, slow up-and-down movements).   I’m left with a comforting vision of Jenson greeting us with his smile and wave as we, too, enter heaven at the end of our life on earth. 

Approximately 9 hours after Jenson went to heaven, my iphone, which was being charged on the bathroom counter, woke us at 1:58 am on May 9.  It began to play a Michael W. Smith song called Above All.   I believe Jenson once again expressed his compassion and asked God to send us a message to help ease our pain and let us know everything was OK.  Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ts2pXxZQKM

We love you, Jenson!